Big goals are tough to confront. There has to be a meeting of the mind, body, and spirit in which they all agree that the goal is ultimately attainable. In the time leading up to it, any of those things can falter, and then what? For me, UTMB was a big goal that I started out as wanting to do by the time I was 44 years old. That was a few years ago. Then, after completing TDS (the 92 mile race that starts in Courmayeur, Italy, and ends in Chamonix, France) last year, I didn’t care about it much at all. Still, I was awarded running stones for completing TDS, so I thought hey, why not apply and see if I get in. Well, I did, and was given an Elite bib (not Top Elite, ha!) Not since getting into Western States 2020 (canceled, then held in 2021) had I come to the realization that I was going to have to treat this as THE biggest goal I’d have to conquer in my athletic career so far.
As I described in a previous blog post, I was already building up to this big goal, but mostly mentally and physically. There was a component missing, and that was my spirit, or my heart if you will. It's as if I was on board, but not entirely. I didn't like that, especially since I was going to have to make sacrifices. In addition to that, others would be sacrificing their time. I have a family that I love dearly. I have a friend who would be traveling from the states to crew for me. I help coach a high school cross-country team that I would struggle to be present for at the start of their season. Somehow, some way, I had to find the will to go all in.
My coach, Nicole, really helped me build on my previous experience running ultras. I had a lot of work to do in the way of strength training and getting in vertical gain throughout my training cycle. By signing up for some mountain races, I was able to get in the fueling practice I needed, as well as practice with elevation gain, and implementing the speed practice I had really enjoyed from doing some different races on pavement at the start of the year. Cruel Jewel 50 and H9 Marathon were the two main races, and I did well at both. I made mistakes to learn from, too. Anyhow, there were many weekends spent in the mountains, including a three-day training camp in Pisgah. It was so nice to feel that I was truly trusting the process, even though some days were not perfect, and I sometimes doubted my ability to execute workouts properly.
Now to Chamonix...
I arrived in Geneva Wednesday morning and tried to ignore the jet lag as much as possible. Thankfully, everything arrived safely, and I was able to head on to my apartment I rented in the Chamonix city center. The weather was finally clearing up after several days of downpours and cold. I was so thankful! The weather was really looking favorable for the upcoming races.
My ability to sleep Wednesday night was largely due to the Tylenol p.m. I took after being wide awake at 1 a.m. I had been banking sleep over the previous days, but really needed to get plenty of rest before race day as well. I went to get my bib and swag, then headed back to the apartment to figure out where to feast. I had a super relaxing afternoon and evening, and got to catch up with the Galloways who were there to do UTMB and CCC, respectively. All my gear was pretty much organized already, but I still poured over it again and again to make sure it was what I wanted and would be comfortable with on Friday.
Ugh. Not one to self-medicate, I ended up taking another Tylenol p.m. Thursday night. I slept in Friday morning, then had a good breakfast nearby. Will arrived Friday afternoon with no issues as well, and I was super thankful! I tried to be prepared for the possibility that his trip could have complications, but no, he got there with hours to spare, and before we knew it, it was 6 p.m. and time to boogie.
The first 5-6 mile stretch of UTMB takes you to Les Houches. On my way there, I tried to keep calm and settle into somewhere between a 7:30 and 9 minute pace that wouldn't wreck me in the hours to come. I got passed by many many people, but I was very happy to not get caught up in the "speed trap." Pretty much the whole way there, there were hundreds and hundreds of people giving high-fives and cheering everyone on. It was so great to feel supported before the upcoming long climb up Col de Voza--except the support never really ended. It just kept going on and on all the way to Saint Gervais (mile 13) and it was amazing! I really tried to soak it all in and enjoy the first 20 miles that would eventually lead into Les Contamines around 9:55 PM.
Apparently, transportation was a bit tough for the crews trying to get around. A girl standing near us dubbed the Elite Transportation lanyard the "Disney Fast Pass," ha! Without it, many people might not have been able to get to their runners on time. Again, you never know! Even when things seem organized and as if they could go well, there's always that little chance they might not. I was super happy to see Will and get my nutrition, and head out quickly for the next section. It would be almost 50K before I would see him again.
The next section would have close to 10,000 feet of gain. The climb up Col du Bonhomme was where I really began to feel like things were getting real. I began to check everyone's nationality tag to see where they were from. I chatted for a long time with an American woman living in Slovakia. I also ran/power hiked alongside Will Weidman from Virginia. This was super cool! We piggybacked for a long time and chatted about races, our choice of hydration (Hylē--yay Chris Roberts!), and people we know from years of Virginia racing. With all the camaraderie, I lost track of some of the sections that were supposed to be quite notable along the course, like the pyramides. It began to get chilly when we crossed over into Italy, and when we were continuously at around 8000 feet up. Still, it wasn't cold enough for anything more than light gloves and a windbreaker--perfect running weather.
Much of the rest of the way to Courmayeur, Italy was spent just not being stupid, and remembering what my coach and I discussed regarding race execution--for it to be a reflection of who I am. In this case: Patient, accepting, and trying to encourage and meet people along the journey. I would repeat these things to myself over and over again for the rest of UTMB.
I arrived in Courmayeur at close to 6:50 a.m. Saturday morning. The first order of business was to get out of the sweaty, smelly shirt I had been wearing, and to put on something cool and light colored. Oh, and I also emptied out my shoes of all the little rocks that had accumulated on the way there, ha! I was in good spirits, and knew that getting to that point alone was a big deal. I was already 50 miles in!
For nutrition, SIS gels (various, but I really liked the beta fuel) and Spring Awesomesauce mostly sustained me, but I also took in some various meats and cheeses in small amounts. Eventually, my stomach did begin to rebel on me slightly. It didn't seem so bad because I wasn't having digestive issues. However, feeling pukey is not my favorite thing and I'm always afraid to puke and rally. There was also a point when I began to feel as if I had to pee too often. Again, not good! It was time to stop being stubborn and take in some salty broth. Will began handing me small slices of baguette to calm my stomach whenever he saw me again later, and the fake Sodastream Coke also worked some wonders. It was crazy to hear how many people had digestive issues and nausea throughout the day. I was super grateful that mine wasn't too bad, but things could have definitely gotten worse without some early intervention.
One thing I could not control, unfortunately, was my breathing every time I would be about halfway up a long climb. For some reason, as someone who does not experience exercise-induced asthma, I had to slow down and even stop at times. This is where acceptance really took place in my UTMB experience. Rather than get super frustrated with myself for my inability to execute each climb with the climbing rate at which I often trained, I accepted that I was going to struggle with this, and implemented a way to get to the top each time.
Stop. Deep breaths. Continue.
Stop. Deep breaths. Continue.
For every long up, there was the promise of a down. I took my time and managed my heart rate, especially after the climb up the Gran Col Ferret. It was all just as vast and beautiful as I had heard, and there were so many hikers giving encouragement the entire time. There were people cheering my name and, "Go USA!" when I would pass by, which made me smile. I thought of Ben Waddell, who passed away recently. Every so often I would, just as his dad hoped I might, think of Ben and his smile, and that would help get me past the next steep portion of the climb.
There was a lot of running in the section leading to La Fouly and heading to Champex-Lac (in Switzerland at this point), and my legs were really getting tired. My watch also began to inform me that it was getting low on battery, and I knew at some point I wouldn't be able to rely on it for any information. Perhaps this was a good thing?
Sure enough, 80 miles in at Champex-Lac (3:30 p.m.), my watch died. Will took care of me and fed me some more bread for my queasy stomach, and off I went through the pretty little town. He walked with me for a bit and we talked about how his wife, Shannon, and I didn't have Swiss Francs to eat there last year, and the restaurant staff wasn't too happy. I wish I had tried to run a bit more through here, though. It was flat! Well, it wouldn't be the last time I would miss that opportunity before the end.
I had been piggybacking most of the afternoon and evening with the other female in my age group. Correction: NEW age group!
It was my birthday, after all! Overnight, I had gone from the 40-44 to 45-49 age group. This was one of the other great things about UTMB this year. I had a heightened sense of awareness of the fact that I wasn't just celebrating a journey along a super difficult 100+ mile course, but a milestone in terms of where I currently am in my life. As much as struggling is both a blessing and a curse in the sport of ultrarunning (I mean, we expect it, perhaps crave it, right?), it sure is hard to wallow in the struggle when you are celebrating your birthday.
I hardly remember going into Trient (about mile 90) , but what I do remember is that leading to it, I felt as if the descents were all getting progressively more technical. The Swiss Alps were really kicking my butt! Soon I would be heading into my second night of UTMB, and back into France.
I arrived in Vallorcine 3 hours after leaving Trient. This was only about a seven mile stretch, by the way, but it was so tough! Talk about feeling slightly defeated! Will gave me some idea as to how long it would take me to get to the finish once I left. Again, there was a little disappointment in the fact that it could take me over four hours to cover the last 12 miles to the finish. He got me out of there in a decent amount of time, but once again, I was walking. Then, I walked some more. I look back and can't understand why I wouldn't move faster on the long, flat-ish stretch that lead to the climb. Was it because I was actually fatigued? Was it because others were mostly doing the same? I don't know, but I decided to take another RunGum to help me along, and perhaps it would help me up the final haul leading to La Flégère. I fell into 3rd place in my AG during this part, as well. Ugh.
Well, another three hours later, I made it to the top of LF. This signified the end of the UTMB climbs, and all I had left was a long descent leading to Chamonix. It was steep, and it was getting hard to accomplish things in the dark.
When I arrived in town, I reflected a little on my time out on the course.
How did I ever get here?
How in the world did events in my life afford me the opportunity to traverse the Mont Blanc Range in this particular, special way?
At 2:45 AM on Sunday morning, I made it to the finish. My sweet friend Jeannette Pantani was there to hug and congratulate me, and Will waited on the other side of the finish line (he had been on the course going through town a few minutes earlier, too.) I am such a fortunate person to have had this experience, and it will be very hard to top.
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